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Love and Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
 
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
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HUMOUR

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangements.

Secretary made call to Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband made call to secret lover: My wife is going abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover made call to small boy whom she is giving private tution: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week I don’t have class ‘coz my teacher is busy. Lets spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) made call to his secretary: This week I am spending my time with my grandson. We can not attend that meeting.

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HOW HAPPY IS LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND?

20 reasons why LIFE without a girlfriend is cool
1.    You can stare at any girl
2.    You don’t have to spend money on her
3.    You won’t get boring results in your board papers
4.    No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing
5.    If you don’t have a girlfriend, she can’t dump you
6.    Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool and everyone wants to be a cool guy

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Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as F.A.CUP 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no! avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Yo Momma's so Fat......

Yo Momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!!!

Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil!!!

Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. 

Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. 

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MATERNAL UNCLE’S LETTER TO HIS GRAND NEPHEW

Many thanks for your concern about my health. As I said, I have given up smoking and my ulcer pain has also gone. I feel much better now. Have no fear- I’ll live long, long enough to be able to come to your wedding. In fact I have fixed your wedding day on October 12, 2015 at Mawtawar in a very respectable Wahlang family. When I escort you there, people will be pleased and happy and they will kill the fattest boar (niangbri) which you love to eat. After that for the honey moon, you will be going to Wah Umshing to fish crabs in the moonlight. Crabs are very tasty if you roast them naked in fire and then marinade them with salt and lime.

Make no mistake that during the wedding ceremony, you will have to make a solemn Declaration, one which the sons of Israel have been making for thousands and thousands of years as recorded in the Old Testament. Add a comment Read more: HUMOUR