When he scoots in terror and hides under the sofa – cum – bed and whines piteously, you can be sure that a heavily armed and dangerous inter – state dacoit gang has broken into the house

‘Irish Setter for sale. Adorable nature Sans Kraites Shikars Flame’ – I shook my head again. The dog sounded too regal for me and it was sure to boss over me and give me an incurable inferiority complex.

‘For Sale Mexican Chihuahua.’ – No that won’t do either. I couldn’t possibly pronounce ‘Mexican Chihuahua’ without permanently dislocating my jaw.

‘For Sale a mongrel of uncertain lineage and unpleasant bloodline’ – That was it. I had struck pay dirt with the dog of my choice.

I went to the address given in the ad. “I’ve come about the dog in the Kennel and Pets ads in the classified columns. Can I see him?” I asked the man who answered my knock.

“Sure” said the man and let out a shrill whistle and a dog ambled in reluctantly abandoning his epicurean quest in an overflowing garbage bin. He was the mangiest and scurviest mutt I had seen in my life but what did it matter if his heart was in the right place? He kept his tail in the neutral undecided whether to wag it or to bark his head off.

“What’s his name” I asked. “Colonel” said the man proudly. Okay, if he was a colonel then I was a field promoted five – star general.

“What’s his lineage and bloodline like?” I enquired. The advertiser seemed a bit nonplussed and bit his lips. “I dunno,” he said dubiously, “but I can confidently and authoritatively tell you that his mother was a popular local belle with a large fan following.”

“Can he do any tricks?” I asked. “Sure” said the man, “Colonel, roll.” Colonel rolled over and within five minutes he was fast asleep and snoring his heart out. That was his idea of a rip roaring trick.

“Is he a good watch dog?” I wanted to know. “Sure” said the man. “When he scoots in terror and hides under the sofa – cum – bed and whines piteously, you can be sure that a heavily armed and dangerous inter – state dacoit gang has broken into the house.”

“How much are you expecting for the cur?” I asked. “Fifty rupees” said the man and that seemed a bargain. A crisp fifty note changed hands and Colonel came home with me.

I have come to the salutary (and empirical) conclusion that the buyer of a dog, like the dog itself too, has his day.

S. Raghunath