“Hello, is this Snow White Laundromat? Look, this is utterly outrageous and I’m certainly not going to take it lying down. Last week I sent you three trousers and four shirts to be dry-cleaned and pressed, however, you’ve sent them back minus all the buttons and fly zippers. What kind of laundry service are you running anyway?”

“Okay if this is an emergency hotline scrambler telephone line to the President, then I’m former President Bill Clinton over the whole Monica Lewinski affair.

“I’m sorry Sir, but you’ve got the wrong number. This is an emergency hotline scrambler telephone line which is meant for the President inorder to inform him about an imminent Russian nuclear missile attack and the total annihilation of the United States and the free world. I request you most urgently to hang up immediately and try dialing the correct number of the Snow White Laundromat.”

“Okay if this is an emergency hotline scrambler telephone line to the President, then I’m former President Bill Clinton coming clean over the whole Monica Lewinski affair. Yesterday I sent you my Levi’s to be stonewashed as well as darned, and now I’ve got them back minus the ‘I Love America’ and ‘God bless America’ patches which were present in the rear. In all my life, I have never seen such a lousy laundry service.”

“I repeat most urgently, Sir this is the emergency hotline scrambler telephone line to the President and blocking it causes a grave national security alert and U.S. military forces world-wide are being placed on their highest state of readiness to engage in an all-out thermonuclear war. I request you to kindly please hang up immediately.”

“Look, you can’t blatantly rip off my buttons, zippers and patches of my jeans and then jus fob me off with the gibberish that this number is a hotline telephone for the President. Last month, I sent you my white dressing gown to be dyed in saffron and steam pressed. I was thinking of giving up the position as Vice-President of the Microsoft Corporation in order to embrace Hinduism and becoming a monk of the ‘swami’ order and also to hit the road with the ‘Hare Krishna’ guys. Yet, you still haven’t delivered my saffron dressing gown and my eagerness for exotic oriental religions and ‘nirvana’ has cooled off. I’m really getting annoyed right now, and I’ve got a good mind to take my custom elsewhere.”

“Sir i request you please get off the line the Russian’s may Zap us at any moment.”

“No, they wouldn’t even bother zapping a country with a laundry service that can’t even wash its customer’s clothes well. Anyways I’ve got another complaint, you advertise-‘we wash your things in automatic, high –speed, computer-controlled machines’ right? Well, as I was driving along Lake Chicago, I swear I saw your workmen beating clothes on a rock, washing and rinsing them in a stagnant cesspool by the lake. Now I ask you, is your advertising fair and honest? And another thing, the starching……”

“I repeat most urgently, sir this is the emergency hotline scrambler telephone line to the President and to convince you, though this may cost me my job, I’ll put the President himself on the line.”

“Hello, this is the President. Don’t tell me the Russians have got a drop on us?”

“Hmmm…… you do sound a lot like ol’ man Barack, but for heaven’s sake, what are you doing working in the lousy Snow White Laundromat?”