The Joy's of Parenting

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A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.
An alarm clock is a device for waking up people who don’t have small kids.
Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.
Children don’t sleep ... They recharge.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.
Kids really brighten a household. They never turn off any lights.
Sick children recover miraculously when the doctor enters the treatment room.
The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.
The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.
The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and their mother’s age.
Trying to dress an active little one is like trying to thread a sewing machine while it’s running.
You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then, you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.